Dear dad
by CanineGalactic
Summary: Stan write's a letter to his dad who left a long time ago. Explicit language and self harm tw


_Dear dad_

 _Well I guess calling you dad would imply you still cared about me so let me start this over_

 _Dear asshole_

 _You never did respond back to my letters. Maybe it got lost in the mail or maybe you just couldn't be fucked. I thought about calling you the other day. I still have your number saved on my phone. I don't know why. I guess a part of me still hoped you'd at least grow the balls to call your own son after all these years, but I guess I'm just a naïve little cunt for thinking that, hey?_

 _I don't know why I keep writing to you. Kyle convinced me it's important to keep in contact with your parents even if they are the biggest loser in the world. You don't write back, but I still try. And I hate myself for that you know that? For trying. For wasting my time on a nobody. But yet here I am. I guess a part of me just really wished you still cared. Whatever. Not that it matters to you at all, but here's what happened since the last time I wrote to you:_

 _Remembered how Kyle and I got married? Yah I'm sure you don't even remember us dating. I sent you an invitation to the wedding, but knowing you, you probably threw it in the trash like the shit stain you are. I really wanted you there. Would have been nice to have both my parents at the most important day of my life like a normal god damn family. But that's okay. Deidre was there._

 _Remember Deidre? She and mom are very happy no thanks to you. I guess that's one good thing to come from your shit marriage. Knowing she treats mom better than you did probably pisses you off so much. I love it. You fucked up dad I'm not going to lie, but mom is happy now. Finally. We're all much happier now that you're not in our life anymore._

 _But I digress._

 _Kyle and I adopted you know? A beautiful baby girl. We named her Sahra. After grandma. Thought you'd like that. We didn't do it for you though. We did it for nana. You can go fuck yourself. You should see her. Black hair with beautiful brown eyes. Seeing that precious face every morning and every night makes me happy. It makes me proud. I wonder if you ever felt like that about me. Maybe once upon a time before you gave up like a coward._

 _Kyle and I moved out of that shitty apartment too. We were finally able to afford a house. It's nothing fancy, but it does the job. We still have nothing, but we get by._

 _My depression is getting better too. Remember how I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder? Probably not that letter probably got lost in the mail too. I'm seeing a psychiatrist once a week and I can finally afford the medication thanks to Deidre. Funny how she looks out for me more than you ever did. I stopped cutting too. Decided I want to be a good role model for my baby unlike you. I started because of you, you know that? When you abandoned us it really hurt you crusty old man. But I'm not letting you get to me anymore. I refuse. I guess I have to thank you in a way. I'm trying to get better because of you. Not to make you proud, but to prove to you that I can take care of myself. I don't need you._

 _I don't need you…_

 _I keep telling myself that. Watching Kyle bond with his dad fucking hurts. I wish that could be us. But you never bothered. Days don't go by without me thinking what it would have been like to have a proper male role model in my life. Someone to look up to. But all you did was let me down. Thanks a lot for that, cunt._

 _You know for most of my life I've blamed myself. I thought I was a shit son and that's probably why you didn't want anything to do with me. Granted I wasn't an easy child. I got in a lot of trouble, but God did I try. I tried so hard to impress you and I hate myself for that. I feel so pathetic trying to impress a loser. But I'm done. This is the last letter I'm writing to you. Just wanted to let you know that you no longer have control over me you filthy bastard. I am my own man now. I have a loving husband, a beautiful daughter and I'm happy._

 _I'm happy and it's because I don't care anymore_

 _Have a good life_

 _Hope you die lonely_

 _-Stan_

just a small drabble. Wanted to take most of my headcanons I had for older stan and squeeze it in to one fic so I got this idea. If you're wondering who Deidre is read my fic "a second chance" Might write a chapter where randy responds back


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